Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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