I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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