Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
