We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
