It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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