I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
