chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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