The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
