Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
