using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
