He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize