i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
