I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I need to stop coming to work sober
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
