You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
