nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
not ubering you a puppy
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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