i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
