If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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