Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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