I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
