It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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