chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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