You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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