Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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