The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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