I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize