Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Im just a social blackout drinker.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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