I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
