He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
