I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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