Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
