You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
