We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
