marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
