i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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