We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
