haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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