Is it because I queefed?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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