so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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