We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
