I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
