That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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