maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
