Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
