When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
