I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
