Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The struggles of a small town man whore
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I FOUND THE LEGS
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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