Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize