something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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