Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It's official drugs can't kill me
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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