I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
