Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
