Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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