Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
