when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize