i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize