so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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