I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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