When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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