Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
