I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
