i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
