garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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