First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
