The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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