well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
