Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
