...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
