White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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