NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My breasts were aching with rage.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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