he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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