i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
