Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
