dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
