Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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