Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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